Category: music

Yesterday, I found myself trapped in a haze of ADD and it was all because it snowed.

Our Neighborhood on Friday morning (picture taken by Erin Nicole Bowman)

Since, of course, I live in Texas, my response to this was to say, “What’s snow?”  Well, apparently, it’s very white, it’s very cold, and it forces you to stay inside, watching Lifetime movies and old DVDs while posting too much information on twitter and generally trying to see how much you can annoy your older sister until she asks you if you’re interested in playing “the quiet game” for a little while.

(Incidentally, I don’t know about your older sister but mine turned out to be remarkably tolerant and I’m proud of her.)

It also keeps you from going to work and I know some people claim that’s a great thing but for me, it was really, really difficult.  In fact, if not for the fact that my boss specifically called me to tell me not to bother to come in because he wasn’t going to come in, I would have braved the ice and snow just so I could spend some quality time answering the phoner and saying, “I’m afraid he’s not going to be able to meet with you today.”  Scoff if you will but I would have happily done it and I regret not being able to do it because not going to work threw me off my routine and I spent most of yesterday in an ADD haze.

Like a lot of things, though, an ADD haze is only a bad thing in retrospect.  While it’s occurring, it’s actually kinda fun.  For instance, I spent a few hours reading three books at one time while an old Dracula film (Hammer’s Dracula A.D. 1972 to be precise) played on the TV and Siouxsie and the Banshees played on my laptop and the microwave zapped up one of those “super pretzels” that I love so much.  Now you could argue that by doing 20 things at once, I end up truly experiencing not a single one of them but, to be honest, it’s so exhilarating at the time.  It makes me love ADD.

Unfortunately, the exhilaration of ADD is always followed by the times when the entire world just seems overwhelming and all the thoughts in your mind start to you weigh down, making you feel like you’re trying to run through quicksand.

Things like going to my job, watching a movie, spending Friday night with a certain someone, blogging, spending a few hours a night on twitter, or watching some silly reality TV show — these are the things that I use to pull myself out of that quicksand.  These are the things that I look at and say, “As long as I keep these things consistent, than I can force some sort of rhyme and reason on the chaotic mess that is my mind.”

The snow, as much as I loved it, took away all of my rhyme and reason for the day.  Luckily, that afore-mentioned special someone was able to make his way to the house after he got off from his job and that helped to put me back on track.

But until he arrived, I found myself spending what seemed like an eternity watching the icicles outside of the den door get bigger and bigger and bigger.  Seriously, I was scared to even let our cat near the door for fear that this one icicle would come to life and try to attack us.  Here’s two pictures of it, courtesy of my sister Erin:

I mean, seriously — that thing was scary!

Well, today, the sun is out, the temperature is above freezing for the first time since last Monday, and the snow is slowly melting.  And I know I should probably be happy but I’m sad to see it go.  I’m a Texan and as much as it disrupted my routine, I know there’s a good chance I’ll never see this much snow again for the rest of my life.

But that’s life.

You’ve got the celebrate what you have when you’ve got it and be prepared to accept that everything goes away in the end.

I had a strange morning today.  I woke up, I stumbled out of bed, and I promptly walked into the bedroom wall.  Luckily, my nose shielded my face from the impact.

As I sat on the edge of my bed, holding an ice pack to my nose and feeling like a total idiot, I turned on my MP3 player and the first thing I heard was Patti Smith.

So, it wasn’t really that bad of a morning.

Here’s one of my favorite songs of all time, Patti Smith’s cover of Van Morrison’s “Gloria.”  

Incidentally, I once played this song for my mom because both she and the song shared the same first name.  She asked me to turn it off as soon as she heard the “Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine.”  Still, even though she didn’t care much for it, she never gave me a hard time for liking it.  At the time, being young and stupid, I don’t think I realized how unique that actually is when it comes to music and the generation gap.

1) I love musicals.  I was in the drama club all through high school.  When I was in college, I was active in community theater.  I’ve never allowed the fact that I’m tone-deaf to prevent me from breaking out into a song.  Taking all that into account, I really should love Glee.  And yet, I don’t.  In fact, I hate it.  Whether it’s Matthew Morrison’s creepy smile or the way Glee pretends to be more quirky than it actually is, the show just annoys the Hell out of me. 

2) When it comes to selecting a favorite color, I’ve always been torn between red or green.  I finally settled on one of them about two nights ago but, for the life of me, I can’t remember which one.

3) I am a German-Spanish-Irish-Italian mutt with a little French thrown in for good measure.  I probably identify most with my Irish heritage even though I’m definitely closest to the Spanish-Italian side of my family.  A part of me wishes that my background was 100% Cajun. 

4) I have a degree in Art History so, of course, I’m currently working as a receptionist.

5) Along with being asthmatic, I suffer from heterochromia, i.e. my left eye is a lighter shade of green than my right.  Unlike asthma, heterochromia is actually kinda cool. 

6) I tend to talk a lot.  I mean a lot.  My sister Megan once said, “Lisa can tell the longest stories about nothing…”  At the time, it actually hurt my feelings but in retrospect, she’s right.  What people often fail to understand, though, is that the main reason I won’t shut up is because I’m actually very shy.  Rambling is my way of avoiding the dreaded awkward silence.

7) For close to a year now, I’ve been writing — off-and-on — a novel called Mizmoon.  It’s been one of the most frustrating and rewarding experiences of my life.  My plan is to have a rough draft completed by the end of 2010. 

8 ) If I had a time machine, I’d go back 11 years and tell my younger self to “wait” and enjoy being innocent for a few more years.  What’s sad is that I know my younger self would probably respond by telling me that I don’t understand how she (I) feels and that it’s her (my) life anyway. 

9) Often times, when I’m having trouble finding any inspiration for a more substantial blog post, I’ll handle the situation by writing down a few very random facts about me.

10) I’m not anti-marriage.  I just have serious doubts as to whether or not I could ever be a part of a succesful marriage.  I’m a romantic at heart but, at the same time, I hate the thought of one day waking up and realizing that I’ve sacrificed my own identity just to be “so-and-so’s wife.”  A friend of mine recently told me that “a succesful relationship is built on trust.”  I don’t know if I’ll ever be capable of trusting anyone that much.

11) I’ve often been accused of engaging in a bit too much TMI for my own good (especially when it comes to my twitter account) but there are certain things in my life that I don’t talk about even though I want to.  But I don’t because I know that if I do, people will no longer think of me as Lisa Marie.  Instead, they’ll simply see me as an object of pity or as a victim.  As much as I sometimes need to express my pain, I don’t want it to define me.

12) At the same time, I do find that it is sometimes to helpful to vent (or sometimes even cry out) on a site like twitter because 1) you can block anyone who acts like an asshole about it, 2) others can block or ignore you if they don’t want to hear about it (which makes me feel less guilty about my occasional emo moments), and 3) sometimes, if you’re lucky, someone will actually offer up either some good advice or come up with a response so perfectly absurd that it’ll snap me out of my angst.

13) Yes, I have in the past occasionally posted a risqué picture or two on twitpic, tweetphoto, and plixi.  And yes, I have occasionally had to deal with the total stranger who has taken it upon him or herself to tell me that I need to have more “respect” for myself or use better judgment.  But you know what?  It’s my body and I’m not ashamed of it.  Why is it that society continues to insist that a woman cannot be independent, intelligent, and/or liberated unless she’s also some sort of humorless, sexless celibate?

If I want to show off my body, I will.  Even more importantly, though, if I don’t feel like showing off my body, I won’t.  No matter how many DMs, YMs, and e-mails I get asking me when I’m going to post another “thong shot.”  The minute anything starts to feel like an obligation is the minute that I start to lose interest.

Someone once asked me how I’d feel if, some day in the distant future, I discovered that my daughter was posting racy pictures of herself on the Internet.  I didn’t have an answer for him then and I really don’t have an answer now.  I know it would upset me but I would also hope that if my daughter was doing that, she would be doing it because she wanted to and not because she felt like she had to.

14) Yes, I do want to be a mom someday.  If I have a girl, I’m going to name her Gloria Elena after my mom.

15) When I first started this post, I thought it was going to be a lot shorter and a lot less serious.  🙂

16) I am an obsessive list maker.  Not only do I continually make lists of everything I need to during the day but I tend to hold on to the lists even after the day has passed because the list, if nothing else, will at least help me remember the day.  Yes, I know this is probably an indication of a tendency towards hoarding.  However, I am capable of throwing aways my old lists … just as long as I’m given one last chance to read them before I do so.

17) Continuing on the obsessive compulsive theme, it’s very important to me that any numbers in my life be even numbers.  I can never, for instance, feel secure if I’m in a building that has an address that ends in an odd number.  That’s also why I’m going to end up listing 20 random facts about myself in this post.  (It’s also why, for my Lisa Marie’s Favorite Exploitation and Grindhouse Trailers series over at Through the Shattered Lens, I always include 6 trailers per post instead of 5.)

18) I used to love that Chanel commercial where Nicole Kidman was the actress having the romance with the — well, I forget what he was supposed to be but he was hot and that’s all that really mattered.  Except, for some reason, I always thought that Kidman’s character was supposed to be terminally ill and dying in the commercial.

19) I love old school Italian horror films, the gorier and more sordid the better.  Yet, in real life, I can’t stand the sight of blood.

20) Okay, one last random fact.  Hmmm…alright, I get about two to three hours of sleep a night and I like it that way.  Life fascinates me and I can’t experience it if I’m asleep.

Sometimes, life is just strange.

The producers behind Sesame Street have decided not to air a clip in which Katy Perry engages in some sort of weird game with Elmo.

The reason had nothing to do with the fact that Elmo is kinda creepy and the implication of him and Katy Perry potentially doing it is the type of thing that could traumatize a young child for life.

Nor is the issue that, throughout the video, little pantsless Elmo more or less tries to hump Katy’s leg like a dog in heat.

No, the issue is that some concerned citizens apparently felt that Katy Perry was showing too much cleavage.  Here’s the video.  Depending on your own personal tolerance for Katy Perry, turn down the volume and judge for yourself.

After watching the video, all I can say is “Uhmm…really?” 

Okay, first off, they’re just breasts and there’s no reason to be ashamed (or scared) of them.  I usually display more cleavage just going to the grocery store than Katy does in that entire video.  So, I guess I’m a danger to children as well. 

I guess Katy’s cleavage might give a 14 year-old boy dirty thoughts but, quite frankly, I’d be more concerned about the fact that a 14 year-old boy is watching Sesame Street.  Is the target audience of Sesame Street really going to care that much about Katy Perry’s cleavage?  Perhaps if parents simply didn’t depend on television to raise their children, they wouldn’t have the time to waste worrying about the implications of televised cleavage.

It’s odd, really.  American society puts so much thought into our boobs yet it somehow gets offended whenever we do the same thing.  We’re told to keep (or make) them prominent but to somehow keep them hidden away as well, locked up as if they’re some sort of prize  to be won by only the noblest knight of the round table.

I’m sorry but they’re just boobs, not the Holy Grail.

First France bans the burqa.

Now Sesame Street has banned boobs.

Like I said, it’s a strange world.

Yes, this is another one of those silly and ultimately pointless online surveys that, for whatever reason, give me so much joy.

I have to admit though that I’ve noticed a disturbing trend whenever I go searching for silly online surveys.  Along with the expected purity tests, when-will-you-die predictions, and “who is your celebrity boob twin” reports, I’ve discovered that all of my favorite quiz sites have been infected by thousands of different surveys all concerning one human being.

That human being is Justin Bieber.

Every site I go to now seems to be full of surveys designed to let me know just how likely it is that I will some day end up as Mr. Lisa Marie Bieber.  What’s disturbing is that, if the surveys are to be believed, the chances are pretty good.

Now, to be honest, I have no desire to marry Justin Bieber.  First off, I don’t know that I ever want to get married, secondly, I tend to prefer older men and third, from what I’ve seen on TMZ, he kinda sorta appears to be a little dumbfug toadsucker.

Still, it disturbs me that I’m going to be 25 on November 9th of this year and already, I find myself thinking “What’s wrong with kids today?”  When did I become an adult and why didn’t anyone warn me ahead of time?

Anyway, considering that I’m apparently getting older, it’s perhaps appropriate that I took a survey of my fears.

Measure Your Fears – Would You, Wouldn’t You, You Did
Created by beindthecurtain and taken 62405 times on Bzoink
Pet a snake: Wouldn’t
Spend a week in an empty room: Would
Ride in a hot-air balloon: Did
Sky dive: Wouldn’t
Sing in front of a huge audience: Did
scuba dive: Wouldn’t
Sit in the front seat of a roller coaster: Wouldn’t
Deliver a baby: Would
Swim across the Amazon River: Wouldn’t
Change careers: Would
Disappear for a long period of time: Did
Walk through the forest alone at night: Did
Join a space mission: Wouldn’t
Tell everyone what you honestly think of them: Did
Call off your wedding: Did, kinda. Long story.
Walk naked through New York City for 10 minutes during rush hour: Would
Walk up to Mike Tyson and call him a girl: Wouldn’t
Disarm a bomb: Wouldn’t
CLean the outside windows of a skyscraper: Wouldn’t
Draw a mustache on the Mona Lisa with a permanent marker: Wouldn’t but not because of fear. I don’t deface art.
Go on tour with Elvis: Wouldn’t
Go swimming during a thunder storm: Wouldn’t, can’t swim
Preform surgury on your best friend: Would but my friend would die
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