Tag Archive: relationships

The Only Habit

So, earlier tonight, I’m checking my e-mail and what do I happen to see on the Yahoo homepage but a link to the following article:

6 Habits That Keep Couples Happy

Hey, I thought to myself, maybe this will finally provide an answer to not only why I have certain issues with the idea of commitment but also what I can do to either fix or embrace this issues.

So, I read the article and, content-wise, it didn’t really provide me anything I hadn’t heard before.  A happy couple, apparently, respects each other, is positive towards each other, pursues projects on their own and together, and continue to feel physically attracted to each other even after one or both of them get so complacent in the relationship that they cease to make the effort to even looks halfway presentable.

As I read, it occurred to me that the secret to a happy relationship is probably not ever feeling the need to read any articles on how to have a happy relationship.  Seriously, if you have to be reminded that it’s important that your significant other have a life of his or her own, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship to begin with unless you’re in one of those weird, no-actual-penetration relationships. 

(Really, the important thing is that you don’t breed because the last thing we need is another generation made up of insecure bullies who can’t handle not being the center of the universe…)

To me, the only habit that’s key to a happy relationship is respect.  And respect is not something that’s shown or earned by sacrificing your own identity just so you can be a part of a relationship.  The minute you stop being you and instead just become So-and-So’s Girlfriend or His Wife is the minute your own life ends, replaced by an existence where you have to read online advise columns just to keep up with how you’re expected to function.

I guess, for some, that’s an ideal situation.

I wish them the best of luck.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm dancing right into a wall.



Alan was my first, the one who claimed the prize

He was older and oh so forbidden

His car was small and oh so claustrophobic

Happy Birthday


Johnny’s the one I taunted for so many years

But whenever we went out, it just bored me to tears

I asked him about bondage and he replied in fear

He’s stoned


Michael called me Pandora and I called him Lestat

The day I met his mother, I wanted to go home

He joined the Marines and he called me on the phone

Gung Ho


James was really skinny and so very tall

The two weeks I spent with him was really quite a ball

But he liked to wear a kilt while hanging out in malls

No thanks


Patrick was a blonde that I led on just for a while

Don’t know how I felt about him but he always smiled

I guess it was convenient cause he didn’t live a mile



Kim’s the one I hope knows I never meant to lie

Don’t know what I was thinking when we gave it a try

I told her I was moving and I very nearly died

Not quite


Tim was the frat boy with the toothpaste smile

A summer lifeguard who never read a book

We were so very cute but his nickname wasn’t worth the look



Antonio was black, he taught me to play pool

Every time I missed a shot, I surrendered a few more rules

I let him win every time, that was pretty cool

I think


David was a darn nice guy who now likes other men

I thank the Lord in Heaven that we’re still friends

He buys a pack of cigarettes and we hang out in the West End

He’s gay


Damon bartended, stripped, and sang and not a whole lot more

He left his car running as he walked me to the door

That made me so very scared, why didn’t he want more?

Who knows?


Doug barely knew me but he worked across the street

When we worked the same night we’d grab a bite to eat

He said I was white trash, he wasn’t very nice to me

Me too


Chris was the best actor I had ever seen

That tattoo on his shoulder blade almost turned me green

He was too polite, he was never obscene

I walked


Dane, baby, why’d you go and break my nose, you liar?

Now the thought of seeing you unnerves me to the wire

Were you the only one who hoped to see me expire?



Robert was drunk and stoned almost constantly

Never took on any great responsibility

Never ate the fruit of knowledge, never saw the tree



Charlie’s a soldier, he’s fighting a war of his own

Dyed his hair blue, defied the norm

He was good in the wintertime because he kept me warm

‘Til spring


Allen flew airplanes, he took me out to eat

We flew out to East Texas, that was pretty neat

He said he was too busy. I got out of my seat

And left


Christy lives down under, she helped me stay alive

We met online and she inspired me to take a dive

She had to leave no matter how much I cried

I’m sorry


I guess I must get on with things although I’m not sure how

Realistic words of wisdom are hard to find now

Despite my constant promises, I’ll always break this vow

No more.

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