I Have Been Put In My Place

Wow.  Who would have guessed that Women’s Equality Day could cause such controversy?

Earlier today, I commented on a post over at another blog.

My comment was partially a response to a previous comment left by a “gentleman” (note the sarcasm) named Bain (which, at the time, I misread as Brian.)  Here’s Bain‘s comment:

You got stuck on the sex I think. And last I checked, sexual pleasure wasn’t forbidden before feminism. Also, I can’t understand why the damn equalization of women is spoken on and on by everyone. I mean, the places where people were treated like less of a person were only a FEW. Truth be told, they were only in the major, most “civilized” countries, while the “barbarians” from the deep east always treated their women good. 

(Note: Actually, I think Bain probably meant to say “treated their women well” but he ran into some difficulty connected to the fact that he’s a moron.)

Actually, without mumbling nonsense about how all women got freed on this day so many years ago, perhaps one should focus on what the fuck was wrong in those countries in the first place if there was equalization fights starting over there.

If you feel lucky to be a woman only TODAY, something is wrong with you.

Also, some countries’ traditions about daughters and them being married for a man from the decision of the father are still in order… And I gotta say, that is not so bad. Usually parents are able to recognize and would choose the best possible companion for their own, because after all, as much as a random male can care for their daughter, they would always want her best. Usually, most the romantic/stupid stories you hear about a girl moaning about how she loves someone else, not the one of choosing from her parents, is because she DIDN’T get to choose, not because the choice is bad. Which, in my opinion, is idiotic. Really.

Equalization? Fighting for it? Well, hopefully it was worth it. Hopefully you are certain that the women from the 21st and late 20th century were better than those from centuries before that. I know I am not, but meh, that probably goes for all human beings…

Excuso.

Anyway, my response:

Wow, loved this post. I’d add to your list of freedoms that I have the freedom to read the words of other women who aren’t ashamed of who we are.

As for Brian, who left the comment regarding how sexual pleasure existed before feminism — Brian, get a clue. Sexual pleasure existed for you but women were supposed to view it as being a part of their duty and nothing else. I’m sorry that men like you are so threatened by the idea that women might actually enjoy sex as well.

Now, I’m going to admit that I did get the guy’s name wrong.  I saw Bain but I read Brian probably because I wasn’t really paying as much attention to the guy’s name as I was to what he had said.

Well, Brian — or excuse me, Bain — paid attention to what I had written as well because he replied to me:

Hey, you, the female – I don’t mind pleasure at all, and I am pretty sure that man actually paid to see it long before equalisation. Also, Brian you will call the unlucky man who gets to your playmate. I am Bain. And that is probably obvious by my nickname, so you sound just insulting and I won’t bother arguing with low-intelligent primate that needs to have someone that fought for her rights 60 years ago to feel free.

Also, only in SOME cultures women weren’t allowed to express their pleasure. I am pretty darn sure that you weren’t there, and the same way you can say that my sources are fake, I could say the same for yours.

Also, Lisa Marie Bowman, you are a lesser being only if you allow yourself to be so. I am damn sure that if you had the guts inside to be what you want to be, you would have been.

(Quick note here: I am exactly what I want to be and I always will be.)

I am certain one more thing – women and men are different, and they always were. Equalisation is nothing good, because saying that sexes are the same is a complete lie. There is no building, anywhere, built by a woman. Designed, maybe. But a woman builder? No, that may ruin their nail polish!

Maybe going out of topic, but it just needs to be said. You know why man and women would never be the same, equal, or anything like that? Because the men don’t make a lot of noise for nothing. You got your rights. Keeping all and all discussing how you get different treatment because YOU ARE different being than the men is what bugs me. Feminish shouldn’t be alive when there is nothing else for it to fight for. Something is messed up with that.

Now, Bain — as is evident by his site here —  probably has his own issues to deal with.  See, we’ve all got issues.    His issues are apparently with women.  My issues are with individuals.

Anyway, Bain — sorry I got your name wrong.  I’m sorry that I don’t want to “ruin my nail polish” by building another ugly tenement in whatever country it is that you come from.   And mostly, I’m sorry that you apparently are going to live the rest of your life in bitter ignorance. 

Seriously, that must be an awful way to live.

Hey, it’s Women’s Equality Day!

August 26th is Women’s Equality Day. 

I have to admit to having mixed feelings about this.  On the one hand, I’m happy to see anything that acknowledges that women deserve the same rights (both legally and culturally) as men.  On the other hand, it’s hard not to be dismayed by the fact that we apparently need a day to remind us of this fact.  To me, Women’s Equality Day is less about celebrating how far we’ve come and more about realizing that we’ve still got a very long way to go.

Women’s Equality Day is technically meant to commemorate the ratification of the 19th amendment to the U.S. Constitution.  This is the amendment that brought universal suffrage to this country.  Until then, some states allowed women to vote and other didn’t.  A female citizen of Wyoming was allowed to cast her ballot while a woman in Pennsylvania could be arrested and jailed for attempting to exercise the same right.

Oddly, most states allowed women to run for public office but they didn’t allow them to the vote for themselves.  The first woman to ever run for President — Victoria C. Woodhull in 1872 — spent election day in jail specifically so she wouldn’t vote for herself.  Woodhull, by the way, is a personal hero of mine.

So, when did women finally gain, under the U.S. Constitution, the right to vote in every state as opposed to just some?

The 19th amendment was officially certified on August 26th, 1920.

Consider that.

The guaranteed, Constitutional right of women to have a say in their government is less than a 100 years old. 

In order for the 19th amendment to become a part of the Constitution, 36 states were required to ratify it.  The 1st states to ratify the amendment were Illinois, Michigan, and Wisconsin who all did so on June 10th, 1919.  My homestate of Texas was the 9th, ratifying on June 28th, 1919.  The 36th state to ratify the amendment was Tennessee on August 18th, 1920.  The last state to ratify was Mississippi who got around to officially ratifying the amendment on March 22nd, 1984.

It’s difficult for me to understand and imagine what it must have once been like for women like Victoria Woodhull, Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and Belva Lockwood (and many others).  These women devoted their lives to and risked both ridicule and criminal prosecution for the rights that I take for granted.  I cast my first vote in the 2004 presidential election and I’ve voted in 2 general elections since then.  All three times, it was something that I did because it was what everyone does on the 1st Tuesday of November.

Sometimes I wonder if I would have had the strength to fight for these rights that I now take for granted.  Honestly, it’s hard to say for sure.  Sometimes, it’s easier to just accept injustice than to risk being on the outside.  I’d like to think that I would fight but traditionally, women are not raised to fight and we’re made to feel as if we’re somehow to blame whenever we do.

For most of recorded history, women have been raised and encouraged to be dependent.  In return for being dependent, we’re given small gifts that are meant to somehow pass for a greater reward.  Far too often, we accept this because it’s what we’re used to and it’s what we’re secure with.  We’re told that men will take care of us as long as we’re willing to sacrifice our own individual ambitions and desires.

And, sad to say, a lot of women — even today — have somehow managed to justify that sacrifice.

It’s a sacrifice I’ve never been willing to make and for that, I may never be allowed to have what I’ve always been told equals safety and perfection.  But whenever I feel like I can’t go on or when it seems like it would just be so much easier to sacrifice my own dreams and just conform to someone else’s idea of who I should be, I remember Victoria C. Woodhull who chose to go to jail as opposed to accepting the idea of being a second-class citizen.  I remember Woodhull and all the other strong women of the past who fought for me to have the chance to be something more than just a supporting ingenue in someone else’s play.

To me, that’s what Women’s Equality Day celebrates.

And that independence is what I plan to celebrate every day for the rest of my life.